If you are in youth ministry with high schoolers, you care about the faith and future of the next generation. Chances are, you spend a lot of creating environments, training volunteers, and planning lessons to help students grow in their everyday faith. 

Because you are a smart leader, you also know that teenagers don’t learn the same way adults do and they certainly don’t enjoy the same things adults do. (Or speak the way adults . . . no cap.) 

But, isn’t it easy to forget that is the case? 

Maybe that’s why sometimes . . . 

We try to explain big theological concepts to students that were transformative for us, but not relevant to the everyday world teens are navigating. 

We play worship songs that are too abstract for teens to understand. 

We expect students to pay attention and stay off their phones for a really long lesson when even the adults around the room are bored. 

We have all been there. That’s because there are two mistakes leaders tend to make when it comes to engaging kids:

1. Adults tend to assume, “They are like me now.” 
   
   Now, none of us would say that out loud, but it can be easy to act that way. We can get so excited about what God is teaching us personally that we want to teach the same exact thing to them. Or, we expect them to be able to behave like an adult. Not only is that rarely effective, we also miss out what we can learn from engaging their perspective. 
   
2. Adults tend to assume, “They are like I used to be.” 
   
   Sometimes, we forget how much the world has changed since we were teenagers. We forget that teenagers are living in a world with smart phones, social media, and YouTube. Not to mention they are being raised by a generation that may have different parenting styles and values than the ones that influenced us. 

That’s why if we want to engage the next generation effectively, we think there is one idea that has the potential to transform everything: phase. 

Phase Defined: A time frame in a kid’s life when you can leverage distinctive opportunities to influence their future.

When churches become intentional about understanding and leveraging what is actually happening in the stages of a kid’s life, it changes how they . . .

Partner with families at pivotal transitions.
Teach comprehensively from preschool through college.
Train leaders how to work with specific age groups. 
Improve dialogue and cooperation between ministries.
Resource parents to interact with teens in the home.

Every kid at every phase is changing in six ways: physically, mentally, relationally, culturally, emotionally, and morally.

So, what do we need to know about phase in order to engage youth ministry effectively?

Your Role: Mobilize Their Potential

Read Their Mind…

So students in the four phases of high school will believe they can win.

• Know what can be expected of them and know how they think so they will hear what you say and know what to do.

High schoolers think like a philosophers.

They want to discover meaning and learn best by processing out loud. Teenagers who think like philosophers look for principles that will give their story meaning. They relate to a God who guides their decisions, promotes love and forgiveness, empowers their freedom, enables them to live more fully, moves them toward a greater purpose and identity, and connects them to a bigger story. 

“Children are most like adults in their feelings. They are least like adults in their thinking. More information does not make them think like us.” — Catherine Stonehouse

Discover Their World…

So students in the four phases of high school will feel they belong.

Freshmen are asking, “Where do I belong?”
They are looking for a new friend group. When adults connect teens with similar interests, teens value community. 

Sophomores are asking, “Why should I believe?”
They want to challenge limits. When adults listen carefully and respond with questions, teens clarify values. 

Juniors are asking, “How can I matter?” 
They are ready to make a difference–now. 
When adults provide consistent opportunities to lead and serve, teens refine skills. 

Seniors are asking, “What will I do?”
They want to know where they are headed. 
When adults encourage experiences and simplify options, teens create vision. 

DON’T MISS THIS: The buffer in every crisis is love.

Interpret Their Motives…

So students in the four phases of high school will discern what they should do.

• Moral emotions are instinctive. Moral development is not.
• If you want to help a high schooler develop a moral conscious, you have to interpret and influence their motive.
• The ultimate motive is love.

High schoolers are motivated most by freedom. ​​If you try to motivate a 17-year-old through excessive limits, it may work against their basic motive and incite frustration and rebellion. But when you guide them with love, you collaborate on boundaries and give high school students opportunities to prove they can be trusted. Then you influence them to make responsible decisions and expand their opportunities.

Play To Your Audience…

So students in the four phases of high school will discover how to relate to God.

• Your job is not to redefine God to high school students. Your job is to help high school students rediscover how to relate to God in a new way in high school.
• How high schoolers relate to God: God’s story empowers my story.
• When you mobilize their potential, you help a high schooler keep pursuing authentic faith and discover a personal mission.

Three Ideas to Help High Schoolers Mature in their Relationship with God.

1. Give an application. In your lessons, say something they can do this week.
2. Ask a question. They are going to ask someone hard questions.
3. Make it an experience. Challenge them to do something that matters.

How Understanding the High School Phase Changes Your Ministry

When we are intentional about engaging high schoolers and creating developmentally appropriate ministries, it changes everything-definitely more than what can fit in a blog. But, here are a few ways understanding the high school phase changes what you do in your ministry and how you partner with other life-stage ministries. 

Ministry Strategy 

When you understand how teenagers learn and grow, it will change how you partner across life-stage ministries. As a kids leader, you will partner differently with the middle school ministry leader (if that’s not you) because you know that what you teach in your youth ministry needs to build on what they learned in the past. You will also be strategic and intentional as you move them to what’s next, because you know the finish line for their faith isn’t graduation. 

When every life-stage ministry works together, you increase momentum for next gen ministry as a whole.

Ministry Programming 

When you know students learn best through processing out loud, it changes the way you communicate in large group and equip small group leaders. When you know they think like philosophers, it changes what questions are asked in small group and what topics you address in your teaching calendar.

Phase changes everything when it comes to how you teach and what you teach kids and students. That’s why XP3 High School Curriculum is created to be both theologically sound and developmentally appropriate for your youth ministry. 

Here are some ways that shows up in the youth ministry curriculum: 

• Phase cues in the Small Group Leader Guide to help leaders orient to how their group may process the topic. 
• Large group scripts that are written and edited to be developmentally appropriate. . 
• Worship leader guides that include phase appropriate song recommendations. 
• One bottom line per week.

Training Leaders 

Volunteers sign up to serve because they care about the faith and future of teenagers, too. 

But, if they don’t understand phase, they may . . . 

Get frustrated when teenagers talk about everything except the message in small group

Shut down a student’s big questions 

Or, over enforce rules that make students not want to be there. 

At the same time, when you understand phase, you know that you need to recruit consistent volunteers in your youth ministry because high school students only trust people who show up consistently.

Partnering With Parents 

When you understand that every year comes with unique opportunities to leverage to influence a kid’s faith and future, you will also equip parents to understand those opportunities. You will cue parents to have more intentional conversations at home and lean into important conversations differently at each life-stage.

To help you and the parents in your ministry navigate these unique phases, check out the Phase Guides. These 18 guides provide essential insights and practical advice tailored to each phase of a child’s life. Equip your team and parents by exploring the Phase Guides today.

If you want to learn more about how to integrate Phase strategy into your ministry, check out the Phase Starter Kit today!