We know that elevating community is more important than ever, especially amongst teens.
“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead
“If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen!” – Me
A Lesson in Leadership About Elevating Community
These were the words I uttered to one of the star players on my middle school basketball team in the early 2000s. Frustrated by a decision I made during practice, he stormed off the court and quit the team. A few days later, he returned, apologetic, and asked to be let back on the team.
Instead of making the decision myself, I took a risk. I told him it wasn’t up to me—it was up to his teammates. So, I let the team vote on his return. (Yes, I trusted a group of middle schoolers with such a pivotal decision. What was I thinking?) They voted yes.
That season, we went on to win the city’s middle school basketball championship in Roanoke, Virginia.
Looking back, I realize that what could have become a barrier between me, that player, and the rest of the team, turned into an opportunity to build a bridge.
Fast forward almost 20 years, and I find myself addressing the same concerns—same age group, different time, different city (now in Atlanta). And in these moments, I’m reminded of the timelessness of Scripture when it comes to understanding human behavior.
“What was will be again, what happened will happen again. There’s nothing new on this earth. Year after year it’s the same old thing.” – Ecclesiastes 1:9, The Message
Despite the advancements in technology—AI, TikTok, Instagram, smartphones—some things about being human remain the same. And this holds true for teenagers. Their experiences and challenges may have evolved, but certain core truths remain unchanged.
Before I share what I’ve learned in this current season of my life, let me give you some context.
Recently, God opened an unexpected door for me. I became the Youth and University Program Manager at Be The Bridge, a nonprofit focused on racial healing, equity, and reconciliation. This led to another exciting opportunity: joining an innovation cohort with Orange.
Through this cohort, I’ve been part of a strategic process, working alongside peers in ministry to explore ways our organization can impact the lives of those we serve. As part of my role, I’ve had the privilege of advocating for teens, creating brave spaces where they can engage in deep conversations about race, injustice, and their lived experiences.
One powerful realization is that teens aren’t afraid to discuss tough topics. In many cases, it’s adults who project their discomfort onto teens. This can lead to one of two outcomes: 1) Teens are denied the opportunity to grow and learn from these discussions with adults, or 2) Teens seek out these discussions elsewhere, potentially leading to isolation.
Building Bridges Across Differences
What do you think happens when we prevent teens from engaging with scripture, history, or difficult topics without our interference?
As my team and I grappled with the same risks and questions I faced as a basketball coach, new dynamics came into play: How do we build bridges with today’s teens? How do we help them bridge gaps across ethnic and cultural differences? And how do we, as Christian leaders, guide them to love one another, as Christ commanded (John 13:35)?
Thanks to the cohort, we’ve experimented with a program called Discussions and Desserts in Atlanta. Teens come together to talk about racial healing, equity, and reconciliation—all while enjoying a variety of desserts. As they indulge their sweet tooth, they also tackle uncomfortable but important conversations with their peers.
Amidst all of this, one universal truth about teens has become abundantly clear. This hits close to home as I parent my 13- and 15-year-olds. (#IYKYK)
Teens love F-O-O-D! But more seriously, food is a connector. Community happens around the table, and bridge-building is fortified by shared meals.
My 5 Thoughts on Elevating Community Among Teens
Now, rewinding to my risky decision to let the middle schoolers vote: what they demonstrated then is something I’ve rediscovered with the teens I work with now. Here are five thoughts I’ve developed about teens while working to elevate community:
- Teens crave authenticity. They can see through gimmicks and distractions. While food and fun help, what they really want is for adults to show up as real people, not know-it-alls. When I’m honest about what I don’t know, I open the door for shared learning. This vulnerability builds bridges and fosters trust.
- Teens need spaces of acceptance. Many teens have told me they stopped sharing their experiences of racism or bullying because adults either didn’t believe them or were apathetic. Teens want spaces where their voices are heard and where adults advocate for them, providing support and solutions.
- Teens are more aware than we give them credit for. In this technology-driven world, teens are often seen as disconnected. But in reality, they are incredibly aware and engaged with what’s happening around them. They’ve taught me more than I expected—and that’s a blog for another day!
- Teens want to demonstrate their agency. I regularly ask teens what they want to do about the issues they face. This empowers them to create solutions and express their creativity. When given space, they shine, and I learn more about what really matters to them.
- Teens thrive in autonomy. When I let the basketball team decide their teammate’s fate, I gave them autonomy. It didn’t diminish my role as coach, but it strengthened their ability to make collective decisions. This sense of autonomy builds confidence and respect, and I see the same principle at work now at Be The Bridge. Giving teens ownership in decision-making helps them thrive.
Leading teens today looks different than it did 10 or 20 years ago, but the fundamental need for connection, authenticity, and autonomy remains.
The Importance of Building Bridges
This innovation journey has allowed me to reconnect with youth beyond the traditional church context. I’ve seen firsthand how teens explore the intersection of their faith and racial equity. They are aware of the issues—like the removal of diversity programs, African American studies, and affirmative action—and they are ready to act.
As Christian leaders, we need to provide brave spaces rooted in biblical truth where teens can wrestle with these issues. If we don’t, who will they turn to?
I want them to turn to me. I want them to turn to us.
This journey—from barriers to bridges—has shifted the teen mindset from “Can I do this?” to “I can do this!” Teens have the aptitude to build bridges, but they need the agency to act on it.
Regardless of your context, I hope these five thoughts resonate with you. As leaders, when we help teens elevate their voices, they can be part of the bridges that elevate their communities.
Interested in learning more about Orange’s Innovation Cohorts? Watch this video. Applications are open for our next cohort. Apply here.
